high maintenance collective

tour vid part 1

2010-01-29T12:51:00.001-08:00

tour vid part 2

2010-01-29T12:40:00.001-08:00

tour vid part 3

2010-01-29T12:39:00.001-08:00

@ la pena 1/24/10

2010-01-29T10:47:00.001-08:00

SMYRC and flirt

2010-01-14T00:28:00.000-08:00

The SMYRC show was so amazing, there’s something about performing for a group of queer youth in a space dedicated to their support and community that made it so healing for me, having lacked that support as a youth myself. JDX, Meg Day and Annah. all rocked the house as per usual. I feel so honored and amazed to share the stage with folx who inspire and rock me down to my socks every time. Really hope to perform in that space again and Portland just gave us so much love. I'd like to come up here and just chill for a week sometime and get to know the city a little better. Also there's a whole lotta hotness - physical, mental and political - in this city that I wouldn't mind gettin' to know better.

And since I brought it up one thing that was learned tonight is that while we may be fabulous poets/writers/performers/artists/singers we are quite the hazy group when it comes to people flirting with us. Okay maybe I should claim that and say “I” instead of “We” but #1 we’re a collective so I think my faults should be our faults and #2 I don’t think I’m the only one in this collective who has this problem but I've been told to own my issues so "I" was flirted with by this really cute person at the show tonight and didn't realize it until later.

Remember folks, direct is best. I.E. 'Hey wanna come back to my place so i can slam you against the wall?' or "Hey wanna make out?' Either one, or any in between.

Gotta be up in 6 hours to start the road trip back to the Bay so I'm gonna sign off. Can't wait for the show at La Pena on the 24th. If you don't know about it you better ask somebody...or y'know look in the sidebar of this blog, either way.

xoxo
Na'amen

portland is sunnier at night

2010-01-13T13:58:00.000-08:00

hello, blog. hello, world.

it's afternoon in portland now, and the weather has turned coffin-like. it's like the tan i was so grateful for in vitamin-d-abundant hawaii has been literally sucked off my skin like the sanderson sisters sucking the life out of children from flying vacuum cleaners in Hocus Pocus. oh, bette midler. oh, depression.

last night's show was pretty great. i felt really off for most of the night & i still haven't quite figured out what triggered that, but after a full night's sleep & my first shower in five days (isn't touring sexy?), i feel pretty good about everything. except the weather. i'm not going to get over it, friends, it's just fucking depressing to be alive here. i can't handle it. everything is the color of the sidewalk.

back to the show. jdx totally turned folks out last night! she opened the show with her incredible monologue & really set the energy. we had a great turnout - i was totally surprised - and hecka folks came through! filled up all the chairs! sat on the floor! loved up on In Other Words!

then annah pulled everybody close with her fucking amazing music -- followed shortly by a local poet powerhouse, Franciszka Fierce, who totally blew me away with her deconstructionist lyric & almost-poetry-voice-but-not-quite-so-it-was-super-sexy cadence. it was really hot to see a page poet own the stage like that & i really wish everybody in oakland could see her perform (maybe you can? youtube? i know she has a blog, Detail Collector, google it) so that there were some fresh ideas of how to really inhabit a space fully without the gimick or gusto that "spoken word" often brings. yo mills poets, this means you. us.

naamen followed me & totally charmed everybody! omg! i was kinda sitting in the audience parta the time so that i could take photos of folks & the people behind me were all freakin in love with him every time he came up!

the goosebump part of the night for me was finally collabbing with annah on our dead mom sonnets thing. haunting & great & really vulnerable shit happened & i don't really remember most of it. thankfully annah has a recording in case i never get the guts to do it again :)

that said, i had hecka UCSD people come out last night! can you believe that? ok, by hecka i really mean two, but that's pretty hecka for a city that isn't san diego. i love those folks! ali came out & so did kate, which was so kickass. afterwards they took us to dinner in this old repurposed elementary school (restaurant, bars, movie theaters & community pool, all in an old elementary school) -- SO COOL. it was great to sit with folks and hear about portland & what folks have started doing since college. annah tried to pry dirt out of them, but there's admittedly not a whole lot to unearth -- after 12 hours of "Secrets Don't Make Friends," what could you possibly want to know?

naamen, jdx & i stayed with kate last night - so sweet of her & her sweetie kit! - and had, hands-down, the best sleep of the tour thus far. well, maybe seconded only by the comfy bed at the Klick, but still. that couch was killer-comfy. thank god for kate & her generosity.

her cat, beatrix, however, is another matter :) evil kitty!

this morning we woke up late, thank god, and were thrilled to finally be able to take showers. so jdx goes into the bathroom and comes out after turning the water on and off a few times & says "This is really embarassing, but i can't figure out how to turn the shower on." so naamen gets up & goes in teh bathroom & i hear the water go on and off a few more times. then they both come out. "meg, you wanna give it a try?" so i climbed out of my sleeping bag & put on pants & shuffled to the bathroom. i couldn't figure it out either. wtf! eventually we found the pull-thing to make the bath into a shower, but damn, talk about a humbling moment for some grad students.

at red & black cafe now, having a laptop orgy over vegan bagels with tempeh bacon & tufrutti cream cheese. delish! they have kombucha on tap here & we all screamed aunti kiala's name when we saw it :)

missing you all dearly, but super excited about tonight's benefit show at SMYRC! headed home tomorrow, can't wait to reunite myself with the sun. xoxo

Marry Me Portland! And I'll Totes Have Your Babies!!!!

2010-01-13T11:56:00.000-08:00

I know that the fantastic half-octopus/half-umbrella poet Meg Day does not like Portlandia but I'm kinda stoked, then again I like the cold and the grey deep in my cold, shriveled heart. I was totally on the hyper-crazy-annoying-nervous tip for most of yesterday because I was freaking out over the show. I eventually left Meg Day and JDX there doing actual work and wandered around the city of Portland for half an hour in the grey wind and that helped calm my nerves pretty well.

Then we got to the bookstore and I began to freak out even more. The space though was so f-ing amazing! It reminds me of A Room of Ones Own in Madison, WI the only other feminist bookstore I've been to. Now I want to start one in the Bay because I think it's so ridiculous that we don't have one. The space was so fantastic, just the ambient political energy that was there calmed the recurrence of stomach butterflies somewhat and Annah's tincture helped even more.

Once the performance was going I still felt jumpy but it started to transmute into this great anticipation after seeing the fantastic energy of MegDay, Annah., JDX & Franciszka Fierce. The audience seemed super into it and gave us amazing support.

Interruption! @ The Red & Black Cafe

JDX - Is pollinate me about what I think it's about?
Annah. - *nods*
MegDay - Wait. What's "pollinate me" mean?
Everyone - *silence*
MegDay - What's "pollinate me" mean?
JDX - *taking off her glasses and placing the tip between her lips* I could show you Meg Day.

Now back to the regularly scheduled blog post.

The last thing I have to say is that the danger of performing with such powerful, earth-shaking, genital-quivering (you can see that JDX's...unique take on language is spreading, in fact we're all picking up vernacular and tone from each other) artists such the one's I'm touring with is that you start to pick up their performance rhythm so there was a point last night when I was performing my pieces in total Meg Day voice.

Then it was off to the Kennedy School for garden burgers and tater tots, a late night trip for allergy medication (the place we stayed had a cat, JDX is allergic to pussy - she made me keep this in the blog post) then we slept while trying to keep Beatrix the witch-cat from eating us alive.

lates,
Na'amen

& for the record

2010-01-12T14:21:00.000-08:00

naamen never licked my neck in that bar in klickitat.
that was jdx trying to lick the bartender's neck. xo

seven virtues my ass

2010-01-12T14:18:00.000-08:00

hi, blog. hi, friends. i was all ready to write this longass cranky post about having to leave Klickitat this morning & having to drive through totally insane wind & rain in icky truck-traffic on the freeway & therefore not being able to listen very attentively to annah & jdx read from their thesis projects & not having any coffee to do it with because i was a dumbdumb & gave up caffeine & (the list goes on for at least a page, i'll stop here) -- but then we got to this stupid coffee shop in stupid gloomy portland with stupid delicious peppermint tea and stupid occupied restrooms and BAM. they put on lauryn hill.

how can you be cranky with the miseducation of lauryn hill on the stereo? or, at least, as cranky? i'm fighting it hard, i'm trying to be as cranky as a crankmonster, but then i catch myself bobbing my head & mouthing the words & finding pleasure in the fact that the undeniably crunchy-weird-bougie crowd in Seven Virtues Coffeehouse doesn't recognize lauryn at all. psh. hah.

in other news, we have our first portland show tonight. we had a side order of salon last night just over the washington border in klickitat & i'm excited to see stuff come together in oregon. portland, however, is not impressing me, friends. talk about a wet sock of a town. sorry portlandia, i had high hopes for you & the weather is just killing it for me. so dreary. so, so dreary. heavy dreary, thick dreary, don't-wanna-get-outta-bed-for-the-rest-of-my-life dreary. mra.

so we're camped out for another hour or so. then we're headed to In Other Words to start setting up. the show is early tonight because we hafta be out by a certain time & we've got all four of us, plus a local feature i'm super stoked to hear read. you can find the facebook event online & read Frannie's bio - she sounds terrific. i'm also excited that we're playing In Other Words because it's the last independent feminist book store in country. isn't that so wonderful & SO SAD? i could just hug it.

alright pals, that's all the stamina i've got. this is crankypants signing off. next time we tour, we are so planning the route in reference to proximity to the equator. mm hm. xo

Heading North

2010-01-11T22:17:00.001-08:00

Morticia the Homo-Hearse has been our home for two days now as we head ever-north. There's a freedom in leaving California, as a native Californian most of my life has been spent in the borders of that state and something about leaving it feels like leaving so much behind, shrugging the remembered pain off and ignoring scars at the manmade line that separates past from present. Shedding skins in traveling and letting those your moving with place those first marks on revealed, new flesh can be amazing when you're in Morticia with amazing folx like I am.

It feels especially intense since this is my first tour ever, they're totally popping my tour cherry and I love it.

Na'amen

Out of my element and out of control...

2010-01-11T22:08:00.000-08:00

So Meg, Na'amen, Annah and I went to a bar/restaurant for dinner. Na'amen had fish and chips. Meg of the Day and Annah had falafel burger. I had cheesy enchiladas (with gross raw onions and olives on them). We talked a lot about sex in the bar. Once we began talking about our favorite positions, it started to feel a lot like foreplay. If any one is wondering, my favorite position is a woman sitting on my face. I love, love, love, love, love giving oral sex to women so much (I've never done it with a dude...not confident that I ever will, though I have intense fantasies about having hard core s&m sessions with men (where I am the domme). I want to tell you every one elses fav position, but it's not my place. When I confessed that I don't like receiving oral sex, Meg of the Day said, "too bad we're friends because I would totally turn you out." Squeal and squirm! What a challange. Then, Na'amen told Meg, "No baby, I'd turn you out." Then he licked her neck. It was so exciting. The bartender freaked out, I don't know if it's because they we're interracial or because they were both dykes. I personally loved it regardless.

Though I enjoyed the sexy time I spent eating and dishing with my tourmates, I was very disappointed that we were the only patrons in the bar. I really, hungrily, desperately wanted to flirt with a stranger tonight. My fantasy was meeting some random man at the bar, approaching him and initiating conversation, and turning on the seductive JDX charm. I wanted to tease him to a point helplessness, and then make a reference about being queer. Its something about being in such a quaint small town that really makes me want to lose my mind and act crazy. And by crazy, I fully mean public nudity, safe sex with strangers, hard core exhibitionism with me. Few folks can hang with my outrageousness, and I suppose I should be respectful. But fuck respect, I want to disrupt shit.

Pink'>http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xaoj0_pink-trouble">Pink - Trouble
Uploaded by

Fuck The Police - And Other Good Times

2010-01-11T16:49:00.000-08:00

Hey Everyone,

Walking into Annah's (cabin) house by the river was absolutely amazing. I imagined something romantic and rustic, but it was actually a regular, warmly furnished, family home. It was really special too, like meeting the parents of a long-term lover for the first time. The first thing I said walking in was, "wow, Annah, I can't believe I'm interacting with your legacy-your history-your family history." Later on tonight or tomorrow morning, Annah is going to show us a rock where she, her father, and her grandfather all tagged their names as children. How fucking special is that? After walking into her house, the second thing I did was kick my shoes off and jump on the bed she slept in as a child, and exclaimed, "Yay, I'm baby Annah." To make the moment a bit less creepy and more precious, Na'amen, Megalicious, and Annah all climbed on bed with me and we group-hugged/cuddled for a minute. It was so cute, especially when Na'amen said, "can we stay like this for ever." Annah was like, "yes," Meg said, "Only if I can bring my dog," and I responded, "well, can I bring my thesis adviser?" (who I have a bit of a crush on). This caused the entire collective to remove themselves from our entangled cuddle with awkward looks of disgust on their faces. I don't think they approve.

The town is so absolutely gorgeous. It ain't the city any more, Laqueisha! I have never, ever, ever been in a small town (with the exception of those god-awful family reunions in Texas my parents submitted us too); and this town sure isn't Oakland. It's more tiny than the cuticle on my pinky finger. And there is greenery every where. Gorgeous trees, lawns filled with snow, probably cute little mammals hiding out some where. Every time I think about it certain parts of my body that wont be mentioned become totally engorged. Where are all the hot dykes so that I can find release. OK, I know you might be thinking "der JDX, you're on a tour with Na'amen, Annah, and Meg of the Day - how many more hot dykes do you need?" But Alas, those foxy chickens are not to be plucked by me. Perhaps I'll turn some townsfolk out with my wily charm, or find a smart babe in Portland (ha, I wish). OMG, did I just imply that furry animals turn me on? Because they don't - for the record. But the gorgeous, lush, healthy outdoors absolutely does. I want to give one of these trees a hug, but I can't, too cold.

And when I say cold, I mean oh-my-effing-gosh-darn-it, it is ridiculous cold out here. There's snow. Snow! SNOWWW!!!! This is the first time in my life than I've ever seen snow. I'm so stoked and happy and appreciative and honored to experience something other than the 1.5 seasons that California offers. Though it's not snowing, there are gorgeous heaps and piles of snow everywhere. I can't wait to accidentally fall in a pile. I might just throw myself into a pile - far more exciting, right? Nefarious Meg Day put a snowball in my boobs earlier, ok, actually, I made it pretty accessible. But who can say no to Meg Day. I threw a ball at Na'amen, and yes, he did get revenge. He chased me with a perfectly shaped ball of the crunchy white ice, and I liked it. Ok, secretly, how can I not like Na'amen chasing me...especially after I spent the last year and a half chasing him.

Speaking of Na'amen and chasing - motherfuck the police. Can you believe they pulled him over for driving while Black. It was so fucked up. We're riding down the street, having a fantastic time playing a game of Secrets Don't Make Friends (I was explaining what I thought of each person when I met them) when we hear sirens wailing behind us. They we're police sirens (which only lead to the torture and death of Black and Brown men, where Sea Sirens lead to the torture and death of all men. I like sea sirens, they are bad ass.), so we pulled over and stopped. The police officer - yep, a white man with a serious attitude) asks Na'amen why he was driving so close to the car in front of us. He claimed that Na'amen was driving too slow, tailing the car in front of us (does this even make any damned sense?), and that he (the police officer) got off the freeway, and back on, and Na'amen was still doing it. When Na'amen explained that he didn't realize he was doing it, the officer became extremely aggressive. Then Annah started speaking. Suddenly, the police officer had a bit of sugary sweetness in his voice. He was kind, even cracked a few jokes. After harassing us about...yes, wait for it, wait for it...why the back window was so fogged (er, duh officer, it's four people inside a tiny car in the freezing cold. The windows were rolled up and we gotta breathe), he let us go. Na'amen, of course, didn't want to drive after that, and the tone of the ride was a bit more somber. No worries, we went back to the game, and within a few minutes, all was cheerful and joyous again. It's funny...sometimes you have to get testament to the power of white womanhood in America. And the sucktastic part about it, was that break from the heat of racism wasn't really about trusting the white woman (because I'm not sure that Annah fully gets straight white woman privilege to the extent of some women), but a reverse oppression and coddling. Either way, the shit is wrong and gets me fired up. For those bozos at Mills and other places who like to talk shit about people who bring up race-gender politics in workshops - this is fucking why.

Anyway, I'm locked in a bedroom right now trying to memorize the lines to one of my performance pieces. I really don't want to. Really, really, really don't want to. But I will. Gotta give folks what they're paying for.

Until we speak again...kisses.

good evening, eugene!

2010-01-10T22:12:00.000-08:00
how to even post about the rest of today, friends?

we got to eugene after dark tonight & stopped in at annah's pal mattie's place. cutest little corner house just down the street from the cutest little health market. is everything cute & little in eugene? sources so far say yes.

dinner was delish - fresh collards, kale, peppers & garlic with tempeh & long grains. the company was equally stellar.

sadly, we bid them adeu after realizing that dogs & cats are not in our crew's residential repetoire -- a little hiccup (with a lot of allergic reaction) that has bounced us here to the doting parents of annah's long-time friends' living room.

i'm cornered warmly onto a couch in my sleeping bag now -- naamen is on a mattress below me, snoring & sleeptalking already. annah is on the futon checking up on things online since we won't have it for a few days, and jdx has taken to parading back and forth across the living room in her leopard-print nightie. everyone is as they should be :)

more driving tomorrow -- up early to portland & then on to - GASP - The Kick-a-Cat Shack! The Clit Attack Shack? maybe just to a cabin in Klickatat for some quality writing time :)

so tired now. i've officially passed my Don't-Talk-To-Me-I'm-Exhausted threshhold & am moving steadily into meltdown zone. so thankful to be under a warm roof tonight & not on the hard floor. so thankful to be on tour with these foxy, amazing folx. goodnight, blog. goodnight, eugene. xoxo

wtf

2010-01-10T15:22:00.000-08:00
this is the post where i tell you that we (naamen) got pulled over by a tall white cop dude for "driving too close to the car in front of him" while we were going down a fucking steep grade through grant's pass.

this is the post where i tell you, very calmly, about everything that happened & how fucked up it was & how it triggered all of us in insane, pig-hating ways.

oh, oregon. oh, tour. oh, racial profiling.

on the road again

2010-01-10T13:12:00.000-08:00
oh, friends. tour has officially begun.

we've been on the road for nearly six hours now, but it took walking out of the gas station restroom (in Oregon!) and seeing JDX doing a stripper dance with her peacoat in the parking lot to really feel like we're on our way.

after seeing the look on the gas attendant's face (you can't pump your own gas in oregon!), we are most definitely on our way.

in all honesty, it's been the fastest six hours in a car i've ever experienced. annah started the road trip games as soon as we hit 580 this morning after stocking up at world grounds in oakland, and the momentum carried us all the way across the border into oregon. we spent the morning bitching about how hard the floor is in the grad lounge (um yea, never sleeping there again) and playing "essence," which is probably unreasonably fun only if you're playing it with writers. thankfully...

and then onto an unending rendition of "secrets don't make friends." have you ever played this game, friends? holy shit. i'm not sure any crevice of personal space went untouched or any stone of insecurity when unturned. i'm surprised the car withstood the pressure of so much honest brilliancy in such a small amount of space at one time, traveling at such speeds. then again, we are touring in annah's sweet volvo hearse. no other vehicle could be as appropriate or capable.

the scenery here is insane, pals. IN-SANE. the forests and hills go on forever. the mountains are snowcapped & the rivers (RIVERS!) are quick-currents of ice and fish. even rest stops are beautiful here, even highways. the only time the sky ends is when the fog cuts it off at mountain's peak.

that said, it is cold as FUCK.

more later. big love xoxo

& so it begins!

2010-01-09T22:26:00.000-08:00
hello, blog. hello, friends. the butterflies & arsenic tour officially starts tonight.

well, not the driving part. the driving part we're saving for tomorrow. tonight is dedicated to merch-making & monologue-polishing, set-list-decisions & the regular debauchery that often happens in the grad lounge.

that's right, we're staying the night in the grad lounge. sleeping bags, toothbrushes & a shitload of paper. it's an all-out slumber party with some badass artists and their works-in-progress.

did i mention that annah went to the berkeley bowl & got freshly dried pineapple rings?!?!
omg. OH EM GEE.

setting up camp soon & starting to tell Chills Hall ghost stories. please don't make me go brush my teeth alone.

see you on the road, blog. xoxo

tour rules

2009-12-21T22:24:00.000-08:00

no looking up annah's skirt
articulate space & self
annah requires coffee & brekkie
switch off driving
no dying
learn to use the purinal
feed meg
crying is good, except for naamen
love love love
safe spaces or no spaces

jezebel delilah x

2001-01-07T22:32:00.002-08:00
JEZEBEL DELILAH X is a righteous faerie Queen from the ancient dynasty of Kush. Descending from a long line of Black activist freedom warriors, she was born by erotic conception. For pleasure. she snorts poetry dust off the quivering bellies and delicate inner thighs of virgin boi rebel-leaders, dom-fucks dying super deities for justice and equity, and dispenses life pollen in the form of literature, literacy, and advocacy to the oppressed and the marginalized.

na'amen

2001-01-07T22:32:00.001-08:00
NA'AMEN is somewhat obsessed with the spaces between things that we tend to ignore. Its not life or death that truly matters but what happens in-between the two, where is the space between mortal and god, what exists between colonialist and colonized. He's attempting to explore some of these erased positions in his poetry and fiction while an MFA candidate at Mills College and a fiction editor for 580 Split. He had a regular column in Fantasy Magazine and has also published numerous reviews and essays on various various blogs including The Angry Black Woman and Feminist SF - The Blog!

meg day

2001-01-07T22:32:00.000-08:00
MEG DAY is a nationally awarded spoken word artist, published poet & badass arts educator who hails from San Diego but is currently juggling collab projects & teaching young poets to hold their own at the mic with Youth Speaks in San Francisco. In 2006 she became San Diego's first queer Spoken Word Grand Champion, a title she held for three years running, and was recently named by OUT-ART Magazine as one of the nation's "Top 30 Under 30" up-and-coming artists in 2009. Meg has been featured at The San Diego Hip Hop Festival, Fists Up: International Deaf Day Celebration, Life is Living Festival, The San Francisco Queer Arts Festival, The San Francisco AIDS Walk, KPFA Radio with Beyond the Odds, and various venues throughout California, New York, Colorado & Alaska.

annah anti-palindrome

2001-01-07T22:31:00.000-08:00
ANNAH. is an electro-accoustic/experimental musician and queer/femme antagonist from Oakland, CA. She performs using a variety of different mediums including a looping system, kitchen utensils, gas-masks, overhead projection images, found objects, her body (mostly her throat), and more...